Written By Rebecca (Hamilton) 2003, revised on 2/27/2008 and 4/28/16
Published in Cross Roads: Winter 2003 Issue
To be a woman in the 21st century is a remarkable privilege. I should know… I am one. We can vote, own a business or raise a family. As women, we must take responsibility for the choices that we make. We must respect ourselves and stay in touch with what it means to be female. Women are precious creatures that God made to be cherished, encouraged and lifted up. We are highly developed beings that can do anything we put our minds to. So why is it that the dreams of so many women have been shattered? Why are so many women not realizing their full potential? Why are so many women silently hurting? Let me share with you a true story of two friends (their names have been changed to protect their identities). Sue and Mary had gone to a campus party. After briefly speaking with a guy, Sue sipped her drink and mingled with the crowd. Eighteen hours later she awoke, naked and had obviously been assaulted. While awaiting a pregnancy test at a clinic, Sue told the counselor what had happened. Mary chimed in that a similar experience had happened to her as a freshman. It’s called “date rape,” and the drug of choice is called Rohypnol or “Roofies.” This is known as the date rape drug. It puts its victims in an unconscious state or asleep so that the perpetrator can rape her without a struggle. This act of violence is an assault on all women. Although this occurrence is not the fault of the victim, precautions can be taken to avoid an assault. Some precautionary measures include: Don’t set your drink down. Doing so gives a perpetrator a chance to “spike” it. Don’t “go upstairs” with any man. I don’t care how “nice” he is. Double date, or if single dating, meet in a public place. Even though the date rape drug is becoming more common, men may still use other tactics, such as physical force, whining, or bullying to force a woman into having sex with him. Be aware of the targeted age for date rape- 16-24 year olds, especially college freshmen. To stay safe, stay in public. If you are alone with a man, be clear with the signals that you send him. Respect yourself, and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do. You must also protect yourself. If you are in a dangerous situation, yell for help. Screaming and fighting is a big deterrent for rape. However, if the perpetrator is violent, has a weapon such as a gun or knife, and there is a chance of severe physical harm or death, don’t resist. It is better to come out alive than to not come out at all. Ask the perpetrator to wear a condom. This does not mean that you have given consent. Be advised, though, a condom does not protect from all STDs, especially HPV which can lead to cervical cancer. It is important to be tested for STDs following a rape, with follow-up testing in 1-2 years. Call the police and go tot a doctor or the emergency room immediately following a rape. As hard as this may be to do, do not wash yourself, you need for any evidence left by the perpetrator to be intact. Since this situation is very real and common, help is readily available. If you are violated, love yourself enough to get your life back by getting the help you deserve. Don’t be ashamed, it is not your fault. Call a counselor, such as the one Sue called. There are people ready and willing to help you. You can contact us here at Pure Victory Ministries as well- contactus@purevictory.org.
Avoiding the Attack
by: Wayne Baumgart, Police Chief of Kurtland, Ohio; also printed in Crossroads, winter 2003 issue
Chief Baumgart shared this information from a seminar he attended and suggested it be shared with others.
Rapists and “date” rapists, who are in custody, were interviewed in an attempt to learn how these convicts targeted their victims. The interviews yielded many valuable tips a person should keep in mind to prevent or thwart an attack.
According to these men, rapists look for certain criteria as they scout out a potential victim:
Hairstyle: Long hair, particularly hairstyles with ponytails, braids or buns because it is easier to grab.
Clothing: Many rapists carry scissors to cut clothing and look for clothing easily removed.
Vulnerability: Talking on cell phones, rummaging through their purses, etc. When a woman’s guard is down, rapists feel they can over-power them more easily.
Location: Grocery store parking lots rank number one, as the most likely place a rapist will try to abduct a victim. Office parking lots/ garages rank next. Public restrooms follow third place.
Time: Early morning between 5 a.m. to 8:30 a.m.
Only two percent of the rapists actually carried a gun. The reasoning is rape carries a 3-5 year prison sentence, but increases to 15-20 years if a gun is involved. The best way for a potential victim to deter a rapist is to put up a fight. The convicted rapists admitted they become discouraged if it appears to take longer than a few minutes to get their victims under control. Women carrying objects, like umbrellas, in their hands are usually avoided. Keys are not a good weapon. With a little logic, a woman can figure out she would need to be really close to the attacker to use keys effectively.
Here are some defense mechanisms to remember:
If someone appears behind you on a street, or in a parking garage, stairwell, or in an elevator, look him or her straight in the face and ask a question. Why is this important? You can identify them so you are less appealing to the rapist.
If it is legal in your state to carry pepper spray, it is recommended. It will be a deterrent if you hold it out and shout, “I have pepper spray!”
If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh as hard as you can. This does hurt. Go for the groin and do not be timid! Most women are timid to do this because they think the rapist will become angry and hurt them more. Not so, according to these convicted rapists who said, “if a woman starts causing a lot of trouble, then they’re out of there.”
If the rapist puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them. This will bring them to their knees.
Remember ladies, it is never you’re fault if you are raped. It doesn’t matter how revealing your clothes are. How seductive your actions appear to be. Or how turned on the guy is by you. Rape is 100% the fault of the rapist. It is not about sexual gratification. It’s about power and control. But just like locking your car door to help prevent your purse from being stolen, we can certainly take precautionary measures, like the ones mentioned above, to avoid an attack. Ultimately the rapist is to blame if a rape occurs. Never forget that. – Rebecca
For Every Great Battle, There is a Great Victory!!