Adoption – Pure Victory Ministries

Is Adoption Right for Me?

You may be faced with a decision right now that will affect your future- forever. If you are pregnant, you only have three choices for your baby. You can choose to parent your child, place your child for adoption, or have an abortion. None of these choices are easy and all will impact you for the rest of your life. So, you may be asking, “Is adoption right for me?”

We here, at Pure Victory Ministries believe that adoption is a loving choice that both mom and baby can live with. It is a difficult choice that will have an effect on you emotionally and perhaps spiritually. You may be thinking, “I can’t carry a baby for nine months only to give her to a total stranger, and I can’t afford to keep her, so, abortion will be much easier to deal with.” Well, if I may, I’d like to put your mind at ease about some things with a list of the ten most asked questions about adoption. This list was taken from 10 Most Asked Questions, Bethany Productions, Copyright 1992.1.

How can adoption be good for my baby and me?

If you are not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life by choosing adoption. You can plan your baby’s future by selecting a stable, loving, family to care for your baby. At birth, you can see your baby, name your baby, love your baby. If you so choose, you can get updates on your child’s progress while you continue your education and career goals. Finally, you avoid the trauma and heartbreak of an abortion. You can be proud of your decision for adoption!

Can I choose a family for my baby?

Yes! With most adoption agencies you can choose a family friend, acquaintance or someone who has been recommended to you, even someone in another state. Or you can choose from couples screened by your agency who have been waiting to become parents.

How much contact can I have with my baby after birth and after adoption?

You may have as much contact with your baby at the hospital as is comfortable for you. In most places, you can choose an open adoption that allows for ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption in which your updates come through letters and pictures arranged through your agency. Adoptive families respect your need to know that your child is well cared for.

How soon after birth can my baby go to the parents I choose?

This depends on three factors: Your choice of when this should happen; The legal aspects of the adoption; The cooperation of the birth father. Many birth mothers want their baby placed by the time they leave the hospital. Some prefer to place their baby in interim care while they think through their adoption decision.

How much will my child know about me?

We encourage you to pass your medical and social history on to your child. You may choose to share your identity and where you live with the adoptive family. Or, if you have an open adoption, your child and adoptive family can have ongoing access to you and what’s happening in your life.

Does the father have any rights?

The birth father’s rights are equal to yours. If you disagree on adoption or you no longer have a relationship with him, your agency will work with the court to determine if his rights can be terminated.

Will my child have information about his or her birth father?

This will depend on the birth father’s cooperation with you and your adoption agency. Some birth fathers give full medical and social history, recognizing how important it is for the child. At other times, only the information you give (us) will be passed on.

Can my child find me if he or she wants to search someday?

At the time of the adoption, you can choose to have an open file to your child. If you do, your child will have access to your identity and your agency will assist in the search. If you choose a closed adoption, your identity will remain anonymous.

How can I be sure my child will not be neglected or abused?

Adoptive families approved by your agency must meet standards that are shared with you. In an open adoption you will see for yourself how well your child is cared for and how much your child is loved.

Do I need an attorney or do I pay my agency to assist me with the adoption?

You do not need an attorney, and there are no costs to you. Your adoption agency handles all legal details on your behalf. Most important, your agency knows your decision was not an easy one to make and will continue to be available to you if you so choose.

Are you ready to be a parent?

Right now your major concern should be deciding how you can provide the best environment for your child’s physical and emotional upbringing.

Ask yourself:

Am I willing to give the next 18 or more years of my life to love and be responsible for his of her well being above my own?

Could I raise a child and still meet my own school, career and social needs?

Could I do this without having to depend on my family to take over for me?

If you answer no to any of the above questions then you should seriously adoption as the best and most loving life-giving choice for you and your child.

What is adoption?

Adoption is a legal procedure which places a child with adoptive parents who raise the child as a member of their own family.

Is adoption permanent?

Yes. The child legally becomes a permanent member of the adoptive family. Some states/ provinces allow a period of time after the child is placed for the birth mother to re-consider her decision.

Am I selfish to consider adoption?

No. It means that you are concerned about being a good mother and sensible enough to realize that raising a child can be difficult, even with the help of family and friends. It’s not selfish to choose what is best for you and your baby. You have already given your child the ultimate gift- Life.

Isn’t it better if I marry my boyfriend and we raise the baby?

Wanting to provide a secure family for your child shows your love and maturity because you realize that raising a child in a loving family situation is important. However, getting married because you are pregnant is now recognized to be a poor basis for building a loving family. Marriage failures are high for those who marry under such pressures.

How do birth parents feel after adoption?

It’s normal to be sad after placing a child for adoption. But many birth mothers who have placed a baby for adoption say that the peace of mind that can come from knowing that you helped give your child the best possible start in life can be a real source of strength.

Is adoption the easy way out?

No. It might be much easier to announce “It’s my child and I’ll take care of her somehow!” When you consider adoption it forces you to think about yourself and those who are close to you. Most especially it forces you to consider your child’s future. Adoption isn’t an easy way out, it’s a mature act of selfless love for your child. Adoption works!

Please think about it. Pure Victory Ministries encourages those in difficult situations to consider adoption as a life-giving alternative to abortion. We believe that nine months of your time in order to give your child life will be greatly rewarded and is an act of honor. If you would like us to pray with you about making an adoption choice, please e-mail us at contactus@purevictory.org.

For Every Great Battle, There is a Great Victory!!