Facebook Isn’t Real
I was recently asked to participate in the Love Your Spouse Challenge on social media giant- Facebook. Post a picture of you and your spouse for 7 days in order to brighten up your marriage. I dreaded the day this would come. It’s just not me. And then I read an article that expressed how I felt about such challenges. It was about the Challenge and how this isn’t real life. The writer said something like, “We compare 100% of our lives to the picture-perfect 5% others share on Facebook. She then posted 7 pictures accurately depicting real married life with children, messy and unfiltered. Facebook isn’t real… Well, I mean, of course there’s a real entity called Facebook, Twitter, and for those of you who remember, MySpace. But that’s not what I mean here. Social media is not real life. I don’t think the Challenge is a bad thing, it’s cute and certainly has its benefits. We do need to do the little things like this to keep the romance alive in our marriage. But, I think a more appropriate challenge to strengthen your marriage would be a 7 day fast from social media. Instead of posting pictures of a false heavenly bliss, shut the phone off and spend time with your spouse.
In fact, I think a 7 day fast from social media would be good for us all the way around. Think of the conversations you will have while at the dinner table. Think of the giggle time you will have with your little ones. Think of the books you could read or the games you could play. Even think of the housework, paperwork (newsletter), and yardwork you could get done. Think of the sunsets you will get to see.
My daughter, Elaine, works at Arby’s (stop in sometime, they have great curly fries!). She told me this story recently that accurately depicts just how far we’ve regressed with the invention of all this technology:
Elaine was working the drive-thru window one lovely evening this summer. As midsummer evenings go, there was a most elaborate painted sky laced with oranges, purples, whites and blues. Amazing! A couple pulled up to the window to pay for and get their meal. The lady passenger said to the male driver, “Here look,” as she showed him a picture on her phone, “So-and-so posted this really pretty picture of tonight’s sunset. Isn’t that beautiful!?” As Elaine witnessed this exchange, she was bursting on the inside, “Look! Look out your own window! You can see the sunset for yourself!” But, as customer service goes, the customer is always right and she simply smiled and gave them their delicious food.
How sad it is to think of all the missed opportunities we pass by because of the grip social media has on our lives. I’m talking to myself here, too. I’m a Facebook junkie! Well, maybe not a junkie, but it has an element of addiction in my life. I’m not super into posting personal stuff like pictures or what I had for lunch. My profile looks more like an ad campaign for The Right to Life Foundation and the PA Taxpayers Cyber Coalition than a “this is my life” profile. Oh, I throw in the occasional “selfie,” picture of the kiddos, or my latest house project. But mostly I use social media as an avenue of discussion and debate. And usually with total strangers! I once almost missed the beginning of a concert because I was arguing with a man don’t even know on the subject of women’s rights vs the right to life. Rob will see me on my phone and ask, “Who are you letting irritate you now?” I don’t want to think about the hours I’ve wasted checking my notifications to see if someone responded to my reply. And if I see that little red notification, my neck tenses up as I anticipate the need to further explain my point of view, because let’s face it, in our minds if the other person doesn’t agree it’s because they just didn’t understand the first time around. When I think about the hold it has on me it makes me angry, not only at myself for allowing this to happen, but at Facebook. It has robbed me of something I’ll never get back- time.
You may think, well, it’s not that bad. We check our phones throughout the day to see what’s up. It’s how we get our news. “I mean, really, people used to read newspapers, so how is this wasted time and that isn’t?” It’s how we cap off our day in place of TV, a magazine, or a good book (perhaps The Book). We use our phones to listen to music, play games, and take pictures. We take endless pictures in order to choose the best one for all the world to see. This makes our life look picture perfect to our “friends.”
Speaking of friends, how many of those folks on social media do you actually know? I know I have friends that pop up in my newsfeed and I’m like, “Who is that?” only to check out our mutual friends list so I at least know where I know them. “AHH! Apparently, I know you from church.”
There are so many distractions in this modern day, high-tech society why add more to it? You all know I bought an old 1834 stone farmhouse in 2010. I’ve slowly been gutting and restoring this old gem. When I’m out there, I feel such a sense of serenity. I have a spring that dries up before the end of summer, leaving me without water (I bring jugs of it from home). I have no Internet, Cable, Satellite or even a landline. I’m limited to good weather as I have no source of heat (until I restore the old fireplaces). I do have an old box TV with a VCR. So, even though the house is without modern amenities, with the exception of electricity, and sits right on route 7-11, life seems to slow down and becomes less cloudy there. I have very little to distract me from my thoughts. I am able to dream and breathe and sigh. I can sit on my porch and eat my breakfast while watching the birds, and sometimes a blacksnake, do their thing. I’ve had deer and groundhogs and chipmunks walk right by me as I munch on Golden Graham’s. My neighbors across the highway, the older folks without smartphones, sit on their porches in the evenings and chit chat on their porch swings. I am needlessly envious as that could be me if I disciplined myself better.
For those of you who don’t dive into the pool of apps and widgets, consider yourselves blessed. If you are reading this newsletter, scratching your head and thinking, “Yeah, I really have no idea what she’s even talking about,” then good for you! You aren’t missing out on anything.
Now, I know I’m not going to delete Facebook, shut down my means for debate and discussion groups, and cancel my Verizon Internet, but I definitely will be prioritizing what’s really important; my family and enjoying God’s wondrous creation in its natural forms, not pictures of it.
Sunsets in Pennsylvania are so beautiful that no Facebook picture can truly capture what your eyes can see when you’re looking out on the horizon.
In His Service,
Rebecca Hamilton, Founder/ Executive Director
For Every Great Battle, There is a Great Victory!!