When I was a little girl, I used to love to dress in pretty clothes. Some were store bought. And some of them my mother made. I wore these beautiful fashions all through elementary school. Then we moved to a new school district the summer before I entered middle school. Once I hit eighth grade and had enough money saved from babysitting, I started buying clothes for myself at a store called Foxmore. It had all the latest fashions a young teen girl could enjoy. Including a white, lacy two piece skirt and blouse. The blouse had frills going down the front with a faux silver and pearl brooch at the V of the neck line. It had a kind of “Madonna” look to it. Hey, what can I say, I was a Teen in the late 80’s!
The bus ride to school was pretty routine the morning I wore my new outfit. These were an awesome group of kids to ride home from school with once we were awake, but a seven a.m. ride to school with a bunch of zombie-like teens was silent and dreary. Once at school, I went about my business, not thinking too much of my clothes. I unloaded my books into my locker, grabbed the ones I needed for first period and headed down the hall to homeroom. As I started to take my seat, a girl that sat across from me started making fun of my outfit. Frozen, I could hear the snickers, giggles, and laughs of her followers. I tried to pretend like I thought it was funny too, so I faked a smile and sat down. But my fake smile suddenly turned to tears and I started to cry.
This wasn’t the first time she had made fun of me. She made fun of the homemade clothes I wore. The beautiful hand-crafted outfits that were made in love were mocked by a girl I hardly knew. And now she was laughing at the clothes my hard-earned money had bought. I just simply had enough and my emotions flooded my face.
But it was too embarrassing for me to let the kids in the class think I had succumbed to her bullying. So, I made up some story that a relative had just died and I was going to their funeral after school and that’s why I was really crying. She turned away as a couple of kids in the class took pity on me.
Needless to say, I wore more jeans and t-shirts after that. I think I even told my mom to stop sewing clothes for me. This made me the saddest as I really liked the clothes she made.
Part of me wishes that I had just gotten angry and stood up for myself that day. But I didn’t. Even worse were the times I didn’t stand up for others being mocked and bullied.
I remember in ninth grade, a girl with learning disabilities sat behind me in homeroom. She got confused easily, so I walked her to her first period class every morning. She was a petite girl with a sweet voice that sounded like she was a small child. As petite as she was, she was “overdeveloped” in her chest and was made fun of for it. One morning she started to cry from the jeers. And although I felt bad for her and asked her if she was okay, I didn’t stand up to the boys that made her cry. Just as I wish I had stood up to my bully, I wish even more I had stood up to hers.
So, why am I sharing all of this now?
Because bullying in school is just as present now as it was back then. In fact, it’s worse. These kids are killing each other and committing suicide alarming rates! Bullying has been around for as long as I can remember but we weren’t taking guns to school and executing our classmates.
So what changed? Why are kids suddenly homicidal and suicidal?
Well, a lot has changed. I wouldn’t say it’s just one thing but more of a recipe of a lot of things baked into one big disastrous casserole.
That recipe includes (but not limited to):
Social media: Social media has become an outlet for kids to continue to bully others long after the school day has ended. This type of relentless bullying doesn’t give kids the break they need to recoup. Also with social media comes the addiction factor of screen time, which doesn’t allow kids to just be kids. To come home from school and wander outdoors playing It Tag and tag football with friends.
Participation Trophies: This idea that everyone deserves the same outcome despite whatever input was given has not served children well. They are not taught that failure is okay, to get back up after being knocked down. They aren’t taught to, in a sense, fight back. I remember when my older children were little, there was a boy picking on my daughter on the bus. My son, who was only in second grade, finally had enough and slugged him. Now, I don’t advocate violence, but in that moment, I was proud of my son.
Neurotoxins: I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on neurotoxins, but they are everywhere from food to vaccines to medication to the air we breathe. Benign brain tumors pressing on the part of the brain that helps control emotions are increasingly common. So is ADD, ADHD, Autism, OCD, depression and many more diagnoses that just weren’t a thing fifty years ago. We’d be foolish to think our consumption of medication, processed food, and vaccines don’t play a role in our mental health.
Video Games, Music, & Movies: Too many are violent, sexual, immoral and desensitizing. Period.
Abortion: You can’t tell an entire generation of children that it’s okay to kill babies and expect them to appreciate the value of life.
Lack of Balance Between Love and Discipline: Our job as parents is to teach our children how to be kind, yet firm. To be in control of their emotions, yet empathetic & sympathetic. To be a responsible member of society. My daughter tells me that I was “strict” compared to some of her friends. I made them do chores, wasn’t afraid to discipline, and said no to clothes that revealed too much. But, it occurred to me that it wasn’t that I was strict, it was that the some of the other parents were too lax. My parenting style was, to some, outdated. Love your children, but remember, you are not trying to win a popularity contest with them.
The Disintegration of the Nuclear Family: Fornication, divorce, homosexuality, adultery, pornography, all these things have destroyed the God-designed family unit. Divorce is just as high in the church as it is in the world. Children being born out of wedlock is a common theme and single motherhood is idolized. Fatherless homes are the single most common element among those who’ve been incarcerated. These all have profoundly negative effects on children. There’s a saying, “Hurting people hurt people.” Many of those we view as bullies, may just be a hurting child that comes from a broken home. They need love too.
June 25, 1962: This was the date that the United States Supreme Court decided that teacher led prayer violated the first amendment. In other words, God is not welcomed in the government run indoctrination training camps we call public schools. “Oh, but children can still pray in school.” That may be true, but we are to lead children, not leave them to their own upbringing. That aside, as one who has worked in public schools, I can assure you, children are being told by adults that they are not allowed to discuss God (even during free time) on school property.
So, we can mock the children as they march out of the schools, even if for the wrong reason, but they’re only doing what they’ve been trained to do. We’re the ones who created an environment in which they are killing each other. We need to repent and get back to the things of God. We need to teach our children the value of life and instill in them the command of God to love one another. And we need to do so by example. Cut the wifi, turn off the cable, put aside selfish ambitions, and pick up a Bible. Disciple your children the way God intended. Don’t let the world do it for you because it will lead your children astray.
We are only one generation away from turning this thing around. Let’s start today!
In His Service,
Rebecca Hamilton, Founder/ Executive Director
For Every Great Battle, There is a Great Victory!!