Do you ever just feel utterly broken? All we hear about anymore is masks and conspiracy theories and shut downs (and I’m just as guilty). But people still have to live their lives. And some of us are experiencing great pain outside of the political circus. We hear things like, “We’re all in this together.” I can tell you, we are not all in this together. We are fighting each other.
You may have noticed that you have not received a newsletter since the January-February newsletter. My sincerest apologies for not taking the time to write one and keep you updated with both The Charity Box and in the messages found in the newsletters. I was just simply unable to write a newsletter because of something I experienced early in the shutdown. I try to be transparent with my readers, often tying things going on in my life into lessons for the newsletter. At this time, this is a private matter but I would ask that you lift me and my family up in prayer. So, while I am not ready to discuss the details of the situation, I will tell you, it was traumatic and caused me to experience temporary PTSD. I experienced a type of loss, devastation, and grief and my emotions were just not healthy enough to write anything of substance to you all. During this “sabbatical,” I needed to devote my time to healing from a wound that was very deep. I believe that my Abba Father is working all things for our good and that, at the end of this hardship, is an amazing testimony of our Elohim’s love, grace, and mercy.
But, I do remember the few times I did sit at my computer, determined to write a meaningful message. I just sat and stared at the screen until it took itself into screensaver black. Then one day I was scrolling Facebook and this quote popped up, “Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter. Hush until you heal.” That spoke to me and I knew it was okay to set the newsletter aside while I took the time I needed to heal from such pain and suffering.
And I know I’m not alone in my hurt. People are experiencing great pain and suffering all over the world amidst the circus we call current events. People are still going through life’s difficulties. And they are being isolated in their circumstances because we’re all too blind to their pain because of the division we’ve succumbed to. I experienced one of the most traumatic situations in my life since “quaranteam” and I can tell you, it is extremely isolating. And the pain is indeed great. Many people are trapped at home in their brokenness. Many people are lost and hurting. Many are suffering with anxiety and depression. And for some time we had no place to turn, not even the church. I kept seeing things like, “The church has left the building.” No, the church was stuck at home. The church was “social distancing.” The church was closed. Some people had no one to turn to and others may have turned to the wrong people for comfort. Whether it was bad advice like, “Get over it,” or a complete lack of sympathy, or just a lack of understanding, sometimes turning to the wrong people only serves to make matters worse. Sometimes life is hard. And sometimes it’s because you want the wrong people to care about you. And having no one in which to turn can be one of the loneliest places for a person in crisis.
I remember someone telling me, in a nice way, to “get over it, it could be worse.” Telling someone who stubbed their toe, “hey, at least you didn’t break it,” doesn’t make their toe hurt less. Now, this person really did mean well and I am not upset with them. But, we really do need to do better at meeting people where they are in the pain that is unique to them. Sometimes that looks like just being a good listener. Or even crying with them. Or sending them a note of, “Hey, I’m thinking about you, I hope you are doing okay.”
Can we take a few moments every day and shut off the news. Shut off social media. Shut off the charade being paraded in front of us day and night. Shut off all the outside voices telling us to hate each other. And instead, look around the real world that is right before us and seek out the lost and broken. Can we be a light in their dark place, for even just a moment? Can we all be a little more compassionate toward each other?
And if you are one of the lost and broken, experiencing one of life’s difficulties during this time, I would encourage you to reach out to someone you trust, someone who has wisdom concerning the things of Elohim. Join a support group if you need to. I did and it has been helpful. Being bound in isolation is not healthy. I know the world is completely upside down right now, but your pain is still very real and you still need to get the help you need. If you feel you have no one in which to turn, please reach out to us here at Pure Victory Ministries! It is quite literally why we even exist.
And, most of all, call upon the Name of Elohim. He is always there. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Abide in Him always, but especially in times of crisis. He is your safe space.
My life completely changed in the wee hours of the morning about four months ago. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know why, but I just couldn’t. First I finished a fiction novel that I was reading. Well, that didn’t work. So then I went down to the living room and opened my bible. I felt this strong pull from Elohim to get into His Word. I asked Him, “What would you have me read?” He led me to open up to the book of Joel. I just got done reading Joel 2:25 when the “situation” happened that completely changed my life in a most devastating way.
The following morning Facebook memories popped up in my newsfeed. Exactly ten years ago that day, I had posted the following scripture:
“And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.”
What is most significant about that particular scripture?
It is Joel 2:25
It was the same scripture my Abba Father gave me the night before in order to brace me for impact. And it orchestrated in such a way that, in my trauma, He was able to remind me of the restoration that lies ahead. Man, is He good like that!
I spent the next few weeks in and out of trauma mode. I remember one particularly difficult night in which I could not sleep. I went into the bathroom, completely flooded with emotion that my whole body was shaking. I dropped to my knees and cried out, “Father, help me. It hurts so much.”
Shortly after that, I was sitting in an evening Shabbat service when the preacher approached me with a word from our Elohim. “Thus saith the Lord,” he said. “There is a darkness all around you. It has overtaken you. It surrounds you. But, says the Lord, the light will overtake the darkness and, in the end, you shall rejoice.”
I sat there with tears in my eyes in awe of my Elohim, Who continues to keep me and surround me with His love. I am reminded of John 12:46, “I (Yeshua) have come as a light into the world, so that no one who believes in Me should stay in darkness.” The Scriptures version
A few days after my Abba gave me that word, He followed it up with leading me to read this, “For Dawid says concerning Him, ‘I saw Yahweh before me continually, because He is at my right hand, in order that I should not be shaken. For this reason my heart rejoiced, and my tongue was glad, and now my flesh shall also rest in expectation, because You shall not leave my being in She’ol, nor shall You give Your Lovingly-committed One (Your Holy One) to see corruption. You have made known to me the ways of life, You shall fill me with joy in Your presence.” Acts 2:25 The Scriptures version
Proverbs 4:18 states, “But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.” The Scriptures version
I am holding on to the promise that my Abba Father gave me the night my world shattered and in the weeks following. It’s what keeps me going. So, I pray, that if any of you are going through a difficult time that you would continue to abide in Him. I pray that your Abba Father gives you a Word in which to hold on. And, remember, your “weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
Sincerely,
Rebecca
For Every Great Battle, There is a Great Victory!!