There have been many times in my life that My Abba Father has shown me that He cares for me in big ways. But, He also shows me that same loving care in little ways. As you know from the last newsletter, I have gone through quite the trial. This trial has really tested my patience and faith. In a weak moment I did something rather unbecoming of a lady. If I’m being honest, which I always strive to do, I’ve had quite a few moments unbecoming of my character since d-day.
D-Day. That’s what I’ve nicknamed the day that changed my life. It’s rather fitting really. Day of Devastation. Or Day of Destruction. Pick one. In an act of faith, however, I know I must rename it to something more, well, hopeful. Perhaps something like “Renewal Day” or “The Truth Will Set Me Free” Day or “A New Beginning.” Yes, perhaps D-day is a little dark to speak over my life. I’ll keep you all posted on its new and improved name, once I decide one.
In the meantime, I’ve not been myself since, well, you know. In this particular instance, I was actually just minding my own business when the incident happened. It was preparation day, more commonly known as house cleaning day. I was vacuuming the living room rug. It happens to be where our precious black lab mix sleeps. Molly is pushing 15 and, for an old girl, she still has quite a bit of spice left in her. She also still has quite a bit of fur. I had to empty the vacuum canister twice that morning. On the second round to the trash can in the kitchen I happened to see my phone, which was sitting face up on the counter, light up with a text.
I picked up my phone.
Vacuum canister in my right hand, phone in my left, I began to read. Instant anxiety and anger reared up inside me at the words the person had sent with regards to my rather sensitive situation. Now, looking back, I suppose the text wasn’t that bad. I suppose the person was just trying to be helpful, but in the moment, the text seemed quite insensitive and rather intrusive to what I was going through. In the moment I made an impulsive decision and whipped my phone as hard as I could across the room.
No, I’m just kidding. I’m not that impulsive. Do you know how expensive phones are?!
I did whip the vacuum canister though.
And I whipped it hard.
Pieces of the Dirt Devil canister scattered about the kitchen and dining rooms. Dirt Devil. How proper of a name for such a moment as that. My husband, who happened to be standing near the fridge, startled at my seemingly sudden and random outburst. I cried out, or rather, screeched, “That’s it! I’m done!”
I won’t trouble you with the rest of my declarations as the words are unfitting for a Christian newsletter. Needless to say, I had to repent, which I un-promptly did the next day.
Actually, I’ve had many occasions to repent lately. It’s amazing what trauma can bring out of even the most reserved of persons. And I’ve been no exception. I wish I could say that I’ve handled my situation with the most prestigious of graces. But I have not.
After all my “other-worldly” utterances ceased and after the soothing way in which my husband was able to calm me, my mind referred back to my little Dirt Devil canister lying about the floor in utter disarray. By the way, when I say my husband was able to sooth me what I really mean is his wrath rose up in agreement with me. He took out his own phone, decidedly, in order to text the illusive sender of the intrusive message his own ambiguous memo. His intent was to rebuke them in such a way that only a husband can in defense of his tender and damaged wife. But, he decided he would wait it out and see if I calmed down. Thankfully, both of us came to a wiser conclusion that a more casual yet heartfelt response was best.
Back to the canister. I gathered all the pieces, six in total, and laid them on the counter. My thoughts went back to cleaning day. “It’s cleaning day. And I now have no vacuum.” The thought slowly turned my anger into sadness. I just didn’t have it in me to go to Walmart to buy a new vacuum. Nor did I trust my husband in accomplishing this particular task. I frowned. I did this. I brought this upon my day. My hands, still shaking from the incident, began to reassemble the pieces. It slowly began to resemble its original state. I looked at my husband, “these pieces are fitting back together. I don’t think it’s broken.” I felt in my heart my Abba Father say to me, “My daughter, the last thing you need to be concerned about in this moment is a broken vacuum. It only broke apart. I kept it from being destroyed.”
Tears brimmed my grateful eyes as I slipped the last piece, the rubber ring, around the bottom of the canister.
“It’s not broken,” I repeated to my husband in a quiet whisper of relief.
“For Elohim, Who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ is the One Who has shone in our hearts for the enlightening of the knowledge of the esteem of Elohim in the face of Yeshua Messiah. And we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the excellence of the power might be of Elohim, and not of us, being hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; being perplexed, but not in despair; being persecuted, but not forsaken; being thrown down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4: 6-9 The Scriptures Version
Being thrown down, but not destroyed.
We will all go through things in life. Things that cause us pain and sorrow. But, our Elohim will never leave us nor forsake us. “For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13: 5-6 KJV
Put your trust in Him to carry you through the trials of life. His promises are yes and amen and He never changes.
“For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me, Silvanus, and Timothy—was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes. For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.” 1 Corinthians 1:19-20 NKJV
In His Service,
Rebecca Hamilton, Founder/ Executive Director
For Every Great Battle, There is a Great Victory!!